. . . . .I am an opportunist in a big way. And very ambitious. But then I like the quiet, still, peaceful calmness of my room, and the isolation. Where does it all fit together? And will I be with Mark at this time next year? Will I look back and read this journal with him lying next to me in bed or will the dream and hope and fun and intimacy be gone for whatever reason by then? I am tired. So tired of life sometimes, but then I just have to go with the moments. I have yet to experience any major tragedies-Heaven forbid, and I should just go with it and not judge -it's just my mood that judges it, and that fluctuates so much that its untenable...